In about 7 months, I turn 40. For some reason in our Western mindset, 40 is a big birthday. I suspect it’s because life expectancy is 78.8 years, here in the U.S., so, 40 is middle-aged: half a life!
Research suggests that what keeps us young is constantly learning new things – challenging our minds and our bodies. Working outside our comfort zones – either by practicing a skill that we know is important to keep developing, such as memory (which is why online sites like Lumosity have recently taken off), or by taking on a new skill altogether, such as a language or musical instrument.
So, with that in mind, when my friend suggested I join her at Ballet classes, I thought why not? I’ll get to hang out with my lovely friend and I’ll start a new hobby. So far, I have been to two classes: the first time I’ve taken ballet in 33 years (I only did it for a year or so as a kindergartner).
It’s humbling to be a complete beginner at something as an adult, partly because we have set notions of what we are and are not capable of, by this age, which hinders our ability to learn. Yet, one of the best aspects of being a beginner is the openness to the variety of ways we can do something: the potential ways we can do things is less limited! It’s hard to keep our minds open, but it’s a great practice to remember that: “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.” Shunryu Suzuki.
I have a mind-body skill set from practicing and teaching yoga for years, which brings a certain level of connectedness between my mind and body. When you have spent years trying to do things like wrap the right side of you calf around to the right and the left side of your calf around to the left, on both legs, while drawing your knee caps up and lifting your belly from one side to the other, while drawing my hips back and my chest forward and so on, you develop a certain intimacy with your body, a knowledge of which parts you can direct more easily than others. Yet, this does not mean that I can make my body do what I tell it when I practice Ballet!
I am struggling to learn how to balance in a totally new way – this time without my spread-apart yoga toes, but with my feet in pale pink ballet shoes. I am struggling to keep my face calm and my hands graceful. I think the biggest psychological difference for me is that when we practice yoga, it is about a personal journey, and I am not really thinking about how I look, but whether I’m doing the right thing in my body; but when we do Ballet, we are in front of mirrors and we are thinking about being on stage and people looking at us, hence the importance of not grimacing!
Yet, I am loving it! It is totally magnificent! I find it easier to fail at this age – when I lose my balance, tendu with my left foot, rather than my right, I laugh and try again. Partly because I know I am not going to be a ballet dancer – this is just fun, with my friend, learning how to make my body do something new and exciting. And also, perhaps more importantly I know that “failure” in one dimension will not define me as a failure in all aspects of my life. My marriage failed, but that does not mean I – Tamsin – am a failure at life. I did not seek a tenure-track Professor-ship because I realized that I was not cut out for the Departmental politics of Academia. That does not mean doing a PhD and not following the academic life makes me a failure.
So, as I wobble and balance, and find moments of grace, and challenge my mind and body to do new things, I enjoy the soothing music, I exercise my body and I make new connections in my wonderful, plastic brain! I know that, in the words of Pattabhi Jois: “Practice and all is coming,’ so I’ve taken to wearing my ballet shoes in the kitchen, standing in first, second or third position as I cook food for my kids.
This new endeavor is exciting and makes me wonder what new skill I’ll take up at 50 and 60 years old! So, I encourage you – get outside your comfort zone and open yourself up to trying something new. Don’t limit yourself, be prepared to fall & get in there – life is to be lived, don’t let fear hold you back!
Copyright Tamsin Astor, YogaBrained LLC, 2015.