Our brains are amazing. However, they evolved to track what’s not working so we can keep ourselves safe by focusing on what we are doing wrong, what we are not getting right, where we have missed the mark. This evolutionary mechanism is fantastic when you are scanning for sabre-tooth tigers, but in reality the majority of those of us who are privileged enough to live with physical and emotional safety, are not dealing with those kinds of moment-to-moment safety issues.
It’s really important to be aware of what isn’t working, where things are not going according to plan, especially if the changes are small and subtle and may not become apparent until there is a marked shift.
For example, I know a lot of women who reject their scales, because they are persecuted by them, because we are taught to place so much emphasis on our weight and a particular number that when the reality is different it can spiral into a huge negative emotional downer. Like every woman, I have struggled with feelings about my body, my weight and have learned not to tie my self worth and value to that number on the scales.
However, the way that my body puts on weight is subtle – I am tall – 5’10” and I put on weight all over my body, so it can be easy not to notice 10lbs. But 10lbs is a lot and then requires some effort to lose, so I now know that standing on the scales once a week is really helpful for me to keep track of my weight. For other women, there’s a piece of clothing that fits just right and can be a marker for where they are. What I know for myself, is that not gathering the data in a concrete way DOES NOT WORK FOR ME!
I had to learn this, and it might be the right approach for you.
It took some time to get comfortable with standing on the scale, even if I wasn’t sure I was going to like what I saw. However, this is where learning about yourself is THE most important thing to do and for you – this might not be the right approach. One of the things I absolutely revel in as a coach is supporting my clients to do two very important things.
The first is to gather the concrete data – such as the number on the scales, the hours on social media/week, the quality of your sleep.
The second is to gather the subtle, intuitive data on themselves because for many of us, women especially, we are taught to shut down our intuition and stop listening to our bodies and to do what we are “supposed” to do. Our bodies contain a vast body of information which, if we can slow down, listen to and take action (or no action) on, will lead us to a deeply satisfying and integrated life.
Are you ready to Unleash? This is my new focus – bringing women together in a collective to support and nourish your deep inner listening, in alignment with your big life vision and your daily habits. Schedule a call with me here if you’re ready to explore this!