I have always been open with my struggles, with what I find hard. Partly because talking through or writing about my feelings and experiences helps me process them and partly because I want to help others by sharing my story vulnerably so they can feel safe with me and know that it’s okay to struggle.
Often I am described as resilient by people I know.
For example, when I tell people about my son being diagnosed with cancer.
These conversations and the data on resilience always portray it as a good trait, one to ascribe to and cultivate.
According to the American Psychological Association “Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone”
Last week, I was presented with a 180 view on resilience which has had me fermenting and cogitating and generally pondering my life. Especially since, this last 18 months for me has been beyond crappy in so many ways, a piling on of so many traumas that when I opened my eyes many mornings, I wished on some level that I had not.
Dr Zach Bush said to Rich Roll (listen to his podcasts BTW- he is a master, 7 years in), and I am paraphrasing:
“If you are resilient, and you acknowledge that trait proudly, and work hard to cultivate it, then you need stress and trauma in your life SO THAT YOU CAN BE resilient.”
OMG – did I create these events, because I am so freaking good at RESILIENCE?
And then the next day, I met a coach at an event whose whole coaching angle is creating and living with ease. Hmm – hello universe?!
So, yes, we want to cultivate resilience. BUT, be wary of what energy you put out into the world, because it might come right back and bite you. The energy we put out into the world introduces us – what energy are you putting out into the world?
For some more on energy, here’s a youtube video I made.