This requires that you listen to yourself. Deeply, truly, madly and without judgment. This is a two-pronged approach. The first is to practice this when you not in a reactionary state of mind.
Ask yourself: “How am I feeling?” and acknowledge it out loud if possible, or in your head, saying “I am feeling X.” Repeat this three times. Then ask yourself “are there any actions I can take that relate to how I am feeling?” And then do that thing, if you can!
The second is to be able to acknowledge how you are feeling when you are in a moment, you know those moments when it feels a bit wobbly and difficult and you are worried that you might end up saying or doing something that is out of integrity with who you really are. This requires a bit more practice, but is really helpful in the long-run!