When I trained for a half marathon, I did it through a charity, which supported us with training schedules, locations, group meetings, sneaker-measuring-discounted-help. I raised over $11,000: I was motivated, because my son was undergoing chemo, so I was a passionate fund-raiser!
My body did not enjoy it. Running 13.1 miles was way beyond anything I’d ever attempted (the length of a hockey pitch)! I gained 30lbs much to the confusion of my doctor who concluded that my body thought it was under attack and so accumulated weight! But, although I’ve never run again, I took away a host of habits around being a successful runner. How often, when & what to eat, how to organize the different distances, what other kinds of exercise complimented/clashed with becoming a runner.
What I realized, is that if I ever wanted to run again, or one of my kids wanted to become a serious runner, I now had a good mastery of the habits needed to cultivate this kind of practice.
When I started studying habit science, I realized that this was the key to success: the understanding and cultivation of the habits that people who are achieving the goals that you have for yourself. To be able to run marathons, one needs to cultivate the habits of a runner. To be a successful writer, cultivate the habits of successful writers. Worry less about whether you run the marathon, publish the book etc – it’s more about working on the process.
The upside of this approach is that you don’t create a situation where you stop running, writing or whatever it is you are cultivating, when you’ve completed your goal of the marathon, book etc. You just keep on running, writing and so on. Why is this an issue?
The problem with focusing on goals, is we get stuck in the success/failure trap: I did or did not lose those 10lbs, I did or did not submit that paper, I did or did not run that marathon. A better angle is, for example: weigh loss is promoted by 1) journaling your foods because it makes you more aware of what you eat which promotes weight loss 2) having an accountability partner who motivates you, keeps you on track etc.
So, next time you want to get good at something: playing guitar, writing, running, start by finding people who are good & then research what they do. Take a mindful approach to: when, how often, what is complimentary, what negatively affects the practices and create your own schedule: cultivate the effort, not the outcome baby!
Copyright Tamsin Astor, YogaBrained LLC 2015.