Day two of my vacation and although I’m jetlagged, I’m feeling profoundly relaxed. Partly it’s because I’ve been lying down and reading novels, drinking tea, eating bread, cheese, hiking, spending time with my loving family. I’ve been considering why I find it so easy to relax here, in this house compared to other places, for example my home.
I suspect it’s because this house has always been associated with relaxation for me – with family, friends, cooking, reading books, swimming, hiking & time off from the rest of my life. I’ve been staying at this house, on and off during the summer since I was in college. This house has never been associated with getting up and going to work, with major life decisions or stressful life events – like the home I still co-own in Block Island, where my former husband decided to walk out on us, our kids and his family last year. I wander if I’ll ever feel comfortable or relaxed in that house again.
When I do laundry here, I hang the wet clothes on the line & collect them a few hours later, smelling of pine and wind. Putting them away is not too stressful because there are only a few things. Cooking is divine, because there is no schedule, most of the food we buy fresh, daily in the various local markets and boulangerie and there’s 10 of us, all pitching in. These chores, which can become tedious at home, are easy and calm here.
How can we cultivate this relaxation at home? It’s challenging. In the corner of my dining room/kitchen I have a lovely burnt orange velvet wingback chair that I bought at the Salvation Army for $35, which I retreat to with a cup of tea and give myself a little chill time.
I have also made a few rules for my bedroom – for example, no TV, ipads, iPhones etc are allowed. I have a sofa in my bedroom for reading and when my clothes sit in a laundry basket, I leave it in the hallway. I have tried to create this one sacred space in my house which I associate with relaxation and it works, mostly. However, I suspect I will need a completely different bedroom, in a new home, to totally create the calm space I crave. My bedroom is still associated with the verbal abuse of me and my children and I’m not certain I can totally rid myself of those unsettling words & the associated anger.
We always have a choice – and we frequently forget it. The power we have over our feelings is profound, but we must learn to channel & engage in a way that makes a difference. Give it a shot – chose a space, and create a quiet, restorative place, that allows you to separate from the hectic pace of your world & renew.
Copyright Tamsin Astor, YogaBrained LLC, 2015.