I hosted a pot-luck at my house on Sunday (US Mother’s Day). My friends are diverse, like my taste in music: from Beethoven, to Calvin Harris, alt-j to the Sound of Music soundtrack, Carlos Jones to Prince, the Stones to Michael Calfan, my friends range from native Clevelanders & mid-westerners, to Europeans, South Americans & San Fransiscans (their own, awesome unique people), straight, gay, white & African-American with kids of diverse ages & interests. The food they brought was also, varied and delicious and enjoyed by everyone: from t-bones to vegan egg salad.
We sat in the yard, watched the kids jump on the trampoline, climb & slide, joined the kids on either side of the volley ball net. We grilled, we gas-bagged, we admonished, we praised, we ate & sipped. It was a perfect way to end the weekend.
I grew up in a family who loved food – we cooked, we ate, we perused recipes, we ate out, we shopped in markets, grew veggies, tried to copy dishes that we had been served. I have continued that tradition, encouraging my kids to cook and engage around meal planning, and as I have studied Ayurveda I have learned to cook in a different way. I no longer make the meat or carb the main focus of my meal, which was how I thought for many years.
Now, I think: Kale and… Mushrooms and… Garbanzo beans and… Eating a mainly plant-based diet has encouraged me to continue my love and exploration of spices. If you’re not using animal fats to give your food flavor, it’s fun to get spicy and saucy! Penzeys spice, which has two local Cleveland locations (W25th and out in Woodmere), has some wonderful blends which are super easy and tasty to use. I often sauté with red palm oil or coconut oil to mix up the flavor. Red palm oil is high in Vitamin A & E and beta carotene. Also, roasting veggies in balsamic vinegar or tossing cooked dishes in Apple Cider Vinegar boosts flavors immensely.
Bringing together the elements of food and friendship is a wonderful way to nourish oneself. For most of my life, when I heard the word “Nourishment” I thought food, but the actual definition is “the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition.” The more I have studied Ayurveda, the more I realize that it is a whole approach to everything you consume and engage with in your life. Exercise, music, movies, quiet time & conversations are also the substances which I find necessary for growth, health and good condition.
I am a social, outgoing person who finds much support and love and engagement from friends. I grew up in a house that had au pairs and frequently had guests, so I grew up eating meals with and chatting to different people: people who have different perspectives and different values. To this day, I reach out to people and talk to them and ask them for opinions on my life and the decisions I am struggling with.
This is something that I want to cultivate for my children. The experience of chatting to someone who decided not to pursue a Doctors or Academic career and instead became a bespoke carpenter, for example. Psychoanalysts, publishers, doctors, musicians and chefs. People who actively chose to be parents, and those who embraced the situation that was handed to them. Those people who live in cities, or those who live in the countryside. People who eat meat, those that are vegan and refuse to wear leather. Giving my children different views on life and ways to choose how to live, is, I believe an important thing I can do for them.
My 11 year-old, as I put him to bed, said “we need to do that again. The exact same guest list, but with Daniel, Sam-Mitch, Brendan, Marc, Dylan, Simone, Emmet and both Bens. I enjoyed hanging out with people I don’t normally hang out with at school. It was cool. But next time – a Memorial Day Party, right mom – please invite these friends of mine.” A proud mama moment. My son’s recognition that interacting with those that you may not necessarily choose, can be fun and exciting, but there’s nothing that can beat one’s dearest friends.
So, next time you think about food and friends, think about bringing them together, because it can often be so much more – Synergy – more than the sum of their parts!
Copyright Tamsin Astor, Yoga Brained, LLC 2015.