I wavered about going to yoga monday morning.  As many of you who have a consistent practice know, you never regret going to yoga.  And this monday was the same.  The class was restorative, which I was not in the mood for – and the class was small, which meant everyone chatted a lot, and again, I was not in the mood for that either.

But, slowly, the magic worked on me.  Julie got us to focus on our feet. Grounding ourselves to get out of our heads.  We spread and extended and grounded different parts of our feet.  Doing the poses with our bodies, not our heads. Sitting crossed legged, we were instructed to lift our collar bones with our spine, not our mind.

Sometimes life gets tough and people say and do things that are really hurtful.  One of the hardest things to do is to not take things too personally! Which is, of course, easier said than done.

I have found a number of different strategies that help me with this, which I will share. Perhaps take a restorative yoga class, a long walk, lie in a warm bath, read a book, or perhaps a writing that speaks to your situation.

Maybe it’s to surround yourself with people who love you without condition: friends and family who see you and support you.  Or taking time to immerse yourself in a new and different experience. Sometimes it is hard to recognize that this is an important step in self-healing. One of my friends keeps reminding me to take time and heal and allow myself the space and time to do simple, nurturing acts.  So, following the inspiration from Julie’s grounding yoga class, I took the time to nurture my feet – soaking, cleaning, massaging and varnishing my toenails.  I figured I needed to focus on my feet since they are partly what grounds me!

In the book, the Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz lays out a basic framework of principles to practice in order to live a life of happiness and love.  To paraphrase, they are: (1) Be Impeccable with your Word; (2) Don’t Take Anything Personally; (3) Don’t Make Assumptions; & (4) Always Do Your Best.  The second agreement is one to enact in this case.  Even though it may feel it’s about you, it’s not.  Alternatively, you can think of it this way:

“The way people treat you is a statement about who they are as a human being.  It is not a statement about you.”

So remember, my friends, give yourself the space to figure out what you need: svadhyaya (self-study) – read inspirational texts, slow down enough to notice how you feel and what your body and mind need; and then make it happen.  This will make you feel better and more resilient so you can stand your ground the next time an attack comes your way.

Copyright Tamsin Astor, Yoga Brained LLC, 2015.

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