The first time I flew with my first child, I remember watching the safety talk for the first time in years. I was a seasoned traveler who no longer paid attention, but this time it felt different, because I had a 6-month-old baby in my arms! The oxygen masks came out and the flight attendants told us that if we were traveling with minors, we should put our own mask on first.
“Ha, I thought. No way am I doing that. My baby comes before me and that is that.” I was told that there was only a few minutes before you would lose consciousness and that’s why it was vital that you put it on first. Again I thought, Ha, I am a mother, no way am I putting myself first!
That was 10 years ago. For the first 9 years of my son’s life (and the first 7 years of my second son’s life and the first 3 years of my daughter’s life) that was my view. I prioritized my children over myself. We navigated the usual trials and tribulations of parenthood – moving house, moving schools, changing jobs, finding childcare, with a little extra flavor – a severe nut allergy, a childhood cancer diagnosis and an ADHD diagnosis.
I developed insomnia. I started having food allergies. I gained 25lbs. Allopathic doctors suggested sleeping pills and giving up major food groups. I felt that my body had a natural intelligence and used to be able to sleep, and eat, and maintain a healthy weight. I did not trust this approach, which focused on suppressing the symptoms. One of my Ayurveda teachers says that what we should be focusing on is the bigger picture. What is wrong with the context of my life? What am I doing in a bigger picture that is creating these problems? If we can re-create a healthy rhythm again, then perhaps all these little symptoms will melt away.
This was how I discovered Dina Charya. This means Daily Rhythm. It is an Ayurvedic approach to the fundamental self-care rituals that we often fail to complete, due to the competing demands on our lives. The essential components include the physical care of our body: sleep, exercise, self-massage, and the psychological components include meditation. Through trial and error, I established an Dina Charya for myself – arise before my family, scrape my tongue, self-massage with warmed, scented oil, meditation, yoga, pranayama & shower.
And so began my path to putting on my own mask first.