Thanksgiving day is about thanks. It’s about recognizing the people in our life and noting how grateful we are for them. It is about family and traditions and food. Yet, we seem to be losing sight of this and become focused on consumption and I don’t just mean pumpkin pie!
When I moved to the Midwest of America, from London, England 11 years ago, one of the first things I noticed was the shopping and customer service. I was amazed at the choices, at how helpful people were in stores. One could choose from a huge variety of breads and vegetables and sauces and meats and cheeses and seasonings when buying a sandwich. I could make substitutions in restaurants. I was amazed that there were people whose sole job seemed to be to welcome me to the store. I couldn’t believe that my groceries were bagged for me, or that stores would offer to wrap my gifts for me.
The local coffee staff shopped remembered that I liked cappuccinos. This particularly struck me because through graduate school I bought coffee most every morning at the same coffee shop in Russell Square and the same lady behind the counter would always ask “Do you want sugar with that love?” which I answered the same way for 3 years “No”!
At first this all seemed like a fabulous change! I was noticed, I was offered help and I could get things made for me, exactly the way I wanted. Then I noticed that people went shopping on Sundays, instead of hanging out with friends and family at home or in parks.
And then… little by little I started to feel the pressure of consumption. When the heels went on my shoes, I struggled to find someone to fix them, rather than toss them out and buy a new pair. When the zip went on my winter coat I struggled to find someone who would replace the zip. Why get them fixed when there are lots of stores available and open, even on a Sunday, with shoes that would cost less than getting them fixed?
As I gather with my friends and family over Thanksgiving I remember how five years ago a store clerk at Walmart was killed by the rush of Black Friday shoppers. I watched videos last night on Buzzfeed of the crazy fights at Black Friday and Thanksgiving stores. This mad behavior just to get a TV or camera! I was very glad to see that Maine, Massachusetts and Rhode Island have laws that prohibit stores opening on Thanksgiving day – reminding us that the day is not about consumption.
If you think this is an Anti-American rant, it is not. I love my adopted home. I have chosen to raise my three kids here. I love how supported I feel here. I love the friendliness, the museums, the restaurants, the variety of amazing schools and sports for my children. I love how socially-engaged people are here with causes and have become much more engaged myself as a result. I especially enjoy the can-do spirit here, which I particularly feel as someone who is starting a business. I feel that I am on the frontier and that the new world is there for me to engage with and make of it what I desire.
What I worry about is that we are forgetting how good we already have it. We are forgetting how much we already have.
I recently heard a teacher say something which strikes me as particularly meaningful at this time of year:
May you come to know and understand the preciousness of your life.
Remember this. Can you be grateful for all that you have? Research shows that people who write 5 things every day that they are grateful for, feel happier and treat better those who they live with. Find your gratitude every day – in the snowflake, the old warm boots, the smile of your child.
Research shows that people who write 5 reasons to be grateful every day are happier and treat their partners better!
In peace,
Tamsin
©Tamsin Astor-Jack, Yoga Brained LLC