Cleanse Your Mind & Relationships

Last week I talked about cleansing your body. This week it’s about cleansing your Mind and Relationships. Now, this is not about stopping your dirty thoughts… unless they are too disturbing! Fantasy is fun, amiright?! This is about facing yourself and how you show up – for yourself and with others.

Start by acknowledging to yourself whether you have regular self-reflective practices. These include meditation, journaling and a coach or therapist – someone to talk to about what you are experiencing in life. If you have none of those, then it’s time to start!

When your mind is always busy and you don’t give yourself the space to be still and quiet (and see what comes up) or the space to vocalize what’s going on in your life, it can hard to really figure out what it is you do want and don’t want in your life! And, what you like.

I had a client who had spent so many years acting for her spouse and kids that she had essentially lost sight of what she was passionate about. So, when I asked her to pick an activity to do that was nourishing and fulfilling, she was stuck. I don’t want this for you – so please start to listen to yourself. Not just your mind, but how your body reacts and feels when you are around certain people or in certain situations.

Pull out your calendar and create the time and space for daily reflections. If you are more drawn to journaling, get yourself a notebook and sit down once a day to write about your life and your dreams. If learning to still your mind so you can hear what you want, seems more important right now, learn to meditate. The Headspace app is great for beginners. Insight meditation is another app that I love – it has a timer, and some guided practices.

Now it’s time to think about your main relationships – your partner, your kids, your parents, perhaps. You don’t have to do all of them, but I encourage you to start with your partner if you have one, because your lives are entwined and creating clarity around what you both want and need and hope for is so vital for a thriving relationship in the long-term.

Pull out your calendar with these people and make time to talk. Perhaps a Sunday hike, or coffee on Saturday morning. And then go into the interaction with an open heart – talk about what you both want for the next few months, the next year, where you want to be in 5 or 10 years. What kind of support can you provide each other. What you would like to make more time for in your shared lives. What hobbies you’d like to try! Whatever arises – create a space to be totally honest with each other. If there’s a particular sticky issue, that you have been repeatedly arguing about, perhaps try this technique:

  • Sit near each other, set the timer for 20 mins and let your partner talk. You can nod or smile, but you cannot verbally respond
  • Switch roles
  • This creates the space of just listening, and not rebuttals or explanations or sympathizing or explanations

Let me know your intentions: post them here.