Healthy habits of online dating #7 – Equal energy expenditure

Don’t do all the work! If you’re the one that is doing all the texting/messaging and you haven’t even met yet, perhaps he is having too many conversations and you are not high up on the list. So – be explicit – hey there, where are you, do you want to meet, what’s going on. And if he doesn’t reply, then walk away!

Healthy habits of online dating #6 – Make short plans

Don’t make dinner plans as the first point of contact. I have made that mistake. If you don’t like them, it’s a SLOG to get through the meal, particularly if they order three courses! Instead, have a coffee or a quick post-work glass of wine. IRL chemistry is totally different from texting chemistry!!

Maslow’s Hierarchy #3 Love of Belonging Needs

Tamsin Astor, PhD, your Chief Habit Scientist shares with you “Maslow’s Hierarchy #3 Love Of Belonging Needs” so you can cultivate the healthy habits to live a life of freedom!

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Healthy habits of online dating #5 – Make an effort

I delete messages or swipe left if they can’t be bothered to write a few sentences about themselves. I want someone who is taking this seriously and that includes reflecting on who they are and what they want!

Maslow’s Hierarchy #2 Safety Needs

Tamsin Astor, PhD, your Chief Habit Scientist shares with you “Maslow’s Hierarchy #2 Safety Needs” so you can cultivate the healthy habits to live a life of freedom!

#forceofhabit #maslow #maslowhierarchyofneeds #safetyneeds #stressmanagement #selfesteem #selfhelp #goodstress #healthyhabits #positivechange #cleanse #detox #plantbaseddiet #habits #forceofhabit

Maslow’s Hierarchy #1 Physiological Needs

Tamsin Astor, PhD, your Chief Habit Scientist shares with you “Maslow’s Hierarchy #1 Physiological Needs” so you can cultivate the healthy habits to live a life of freedom!

#forceofhabit #maslow #maslowhierarchyofneeds #stressmanagement #selfesteem #selfhelp #goodstress #healthyhabits #positivechange #cleanse #detox #plantbaseddiet #habits #forceofhabit

Healthy habits of online dating #4 – Ask questions

Ask people what they want. Don’t assume they have read your profile and don’t assume they have written out what they want. I explicitly state that I am looking for a long-term long relationship, not a one-off, for example. It’s better to clarify this so you don’t waste time meeting someone who doesn’t meet your criteria.

Healthy habits of online dating #3 – Due diligence

Read their profile and look at their pics before you engage. Maybe there are some flags or deal-breakers for you. I was contacted by people who lived in Florida, Northern California, Manhattan, even though I had put the settings at 30 miles from where I live! They were looking for someone when they traveled through Cleveland. Not my thing. I have a Ph.D. and do better dating guys with degrees who are intellectually-driven. I don’t want more kids, if their profile says they want kids, I move on. Do your basic due diligence!

Healthy habits of online dating #2 – Make plans

The second habit of online dating that I have created was shared with me by my friend Jen. If we can’t figure out a time to meet within a week or so, then move on. I am not looking for a pen pal. Also, I don’t want to date someone who won’t make time for me.

Healthy habits of online dating #1 – Looks

I recently jumped back online, creating profiles on 4 apps. I knew that there was going to be a lot of overwhelm, navigating all the messages and interactions. One day I woke up and there were 30 messages in just one of the apps!

This leads me to the realization that I needed to create some healthy habits in this area of my life, just like I have for other areas.

The first one is this: I delete any messages that just mention my looks. Why? My profile explicitly states that I am a sapiosexual – turn on my mind. If you can’t be bothered to read that and then engage, then I am not interested.