You know that feeling when you jump into your car on a sunny day and you realize that you don’t have your sunglasses, and you’re not at home and you wonder, will the visor suffice until you can stop at a gas station to get a pair?
Sometimes it’s important to stop and find the right tools. But, beware, it can be really easy to get stuck in inaction, because you feel you can’t act until you have the right tools!
So – start by giving it a shot: try without the right tools. You might find that you can do it anyway!
I spent 3 weeks in Greece, with my oldest friend, right after I had submitted my Ph.D. thesis for evaluation. She and I hung out in all her old haunts and also we went exploring. One day we went to The Temple of Poseidon at Sounion and spotted Lord Byron’s graffiti – he was so inspired he had carved his name into the side!
We looked out at the sea and thought, wow how lovely it would be getting in it. So we (illegally) scrambled down the rocks, in our shorts and t-shirts, stripped off our clothes and dove into the dark blue sea. We didn’t have swimsuits or towels, but we both just had such an intense desire to feel the water on our skin after reveling in the beauty of The Temple of Poseidon.
So, we did.
The sun is the heat, creative, energetic, masculine energy – in action.
The shade is cool, more centered around holding space, listening and receiving, the feminine energy.
You can choose what energy you want and need from moment to moment. We all cycle between these two energies. The key is learning to listen to which kind of energy you need at any one moment and then making it happen.
We are all striving to be healthy – in our minds and bodies. Not being sick, feeling well. In the words of one of my favorite meditations, we want to be happy, healthy, to feel safe and to feel at ease.
Sometimes my clients get stuck – either with an unhealthy coping pattern, like drinking to fall asleep, watching Netflix rather than talking to their partner about how their marriage is struggling or by just medicating the symptoms, taking pills for high blood pressure, rather than getting to the underlying issues and changing how they live.
In the West, healthy is defined as “absence of disease.”
In Ayurveda, healthy is defined as “seated in the self.” The word is swastha.
This feels so much more resonant to me. My health is not just defined as not being sick. I am not healthy if I am not feeling a true sense of connection with all parts of myself.
We go through them every second – that past second can’t be re-lived! We experience these micro-transitions every hour, every day, week, month, season, year. We may not even notice them.
Sometimes we go through major transitions, which we are fully aware of – when a relationship ends, when a loved one dies, when we lose a job, move home, start a new project.
One of the key things that I remember when I was studying Psychology as an undergraduate was that even the good transitions – having a baby, getting married, moving into your dream home – are also stressful! So, be kind to yourself, if you’re feeling that you *shouldn’t* feel bad or stressed out.
So, how can you handle it?
- Acknowledge it! And then follow your usual schedule as much as possible, e.g. going to the gym, yoga class, having a date night, eating healthy food.
- Create a list. Use a management tool to keep track of what needs to be done, during this transition, what you need to focus on, and perhaps share it with the relevant people, so you can perhaps delegate.
- Ask for help. Accept help. If people offer help, respond and ask for something, e.g. some food, taking your dog for a few days, taking your kids for playdates. If no one offers, reach out to people and ask for help. It can be quite revelatory who offers help and how they respond to being asked for help….
When you fall off the habit, maybe when you’re traveling, life gets stressful, you have houseguests… take a moment to notice that you have fallen back into the unhealthy habit or stopped the new one. See if you can see a pattern that lead you there. And, most importantly DO NOT berate yourself. Talk to yourself with kindness and gentleness and then re-commit. Re-commit with a schedule that is doable and comfortable, but with a bit of a stretch, so you are inspired to succeed again.
To change your habit, you have to deeply believe that you can change – this is called a growth mindset, not a fixed mindset. If you find yourself saying “I will always be fat, unemployable, single, fill in the blank….” You are sending that energy out into the world and the world wants to give you what you ask for!!
So – create some positive affirmations. Write them down, record them onto your phone, draw pictures, make a vision board.
Tamsin Astor, PhD, your Chief Habit Scientist shares with you “Indulgence! Do you REALLY make the time” so you can cultivate the healthy habits to live a life of freedom!
#forceofhabit #indulgence #slowdown #sensual #habits
Write down all the shitty feelings that emerge around why you have this habit. Then tear up this piece of paper and if you can BURN it, releasing it into the atmosphere!
Tamsin Astor, PhD, your Chief Habit Scientist shares with you “Easy as 1,2,3! Adding a new habit” so you can cultivate the healthy habits to live a life of freedom!
#stressmangement #forceofhabit #habit #habits #dailyhabits #organize #productivemornings
We often create long stories about who we are and why we can or cannot change a habit. Perhaps it’s a familial story, something that is deeply ingrained, perhaps it’s a result of a specific event in your life that triggered this habit as a coping response.
Then acknowledge that you have this habit, but don’t allow judgment, shame, and negativity to crowd into this. Just observe that you have this habit and perhaps where it came from.