The stress continues to build in my life.  My house has now sold.  I have 7 weeks to find a new home for me, my three kids, my new au pair (who is arriving from France, 3 days after we close on this house), my 90lb rescue mutt, the guinea pig and the three fishes! I am traveling for Thanksgiving (within the US). I am traveling back to England for Christmas – so in reality I have 5 weeks to pack up and move somewhere.

The night before I had to go to Court again for my impending divorce, I had the pleasure of being taken to see “A Gentleman’s Guide to Love & Murder,” which was the perfect way to spend the evening – ridiculous Brit humor & lots of laughing with a friend!  Then, on Monday I spent 6 hours in court – still trying to get divorced – and no closer.

A dear friend sat next to me the whole time and, as she pointed out – when do we ever give ourselves such a long time to chat?! It was so lovely. She and I drank tea and talked. She gave me an amazing inspirational, supportive and lovely gift. I wore earrings given to me by my lovely sister-in-law Catrin, I used my mother’s 1970s purse, I wore a ring from my grandmother.  I surrounded myself with things that were connected to me by love. I got texts from my dad in London, my brother in Stratford called me, local friends texted me for updates and one told me to come for dinner that night (which was delicious).  An out-of-town friend texted me about shows for us to catch next time we got together.

I felt held this week.  I felt contained by the love of all those around me. It feels a bit like being in the eye of the hurricane.  It’s all whirling around me.  I’m letting go of mundane stuff like furniture, appliances, baby stuff, bedding etc that has played a part in my life.  I am figuring out what to give, what to sell, what to store (if we rent and don’t find somewhere to buy).

But, on a bigger level, I’m letting go of the place that has been my home for 8 1/2 years and I don’t know where I am going.  I am letting go of the home that I bought with my former husband, as a place to live for a long time, so I am also letting go of our marital home and all the emotions that relate to our failed marriage.  It could be so easy to get pulled down and sink into a state of overwhelm. But, I won’t let that happen. Life’s too good!

In the last month I have taught yoga to a Women’s Domestic Violence group and to adults who go to an Adult Special Needs Daycare.  When I think about what these people are having to manage on a day-to-day basis, it puts my life and it’s challenges into perspective. I am so lucky and am surrounded by so much love, that, even though there have been a few mornings during these last few weeks (and months) when I have felt completely unbalanced, I rise up again.  So, I breathe, I meditate, I do a yoga pose or three, I massage my body in oil (abhyanga), I drink tea, and I remember the love that surrounds me and how it keeps me going.

Don’t be afraid to reach out – one of my first life lessons was realizing this – being willing to be vulnerable is perhaps one of the most important ways to cultivate true connections with those around you. Revel in your vulnerability because you will be pulled to the quiet, the eye of the storm by the love of those around you.  Certainly terrible weather has passed and perhaps terrible weather is coming, but I know that I can handle it because I am contained by love.

Copyright Tamsin Astor, YogaBrained LLC, 2015.